TWENTY REASONS I AM TIRED OF BEING TALL part 2

11. People use you for shade or to block wind.

 

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12. Your legs are always in the way on trains, buses, and airplanes.

 

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13. The points of open umbrellas are always right at eye level.

 

14. Long sleeves are never long enough when I get home with the shirt and the suitView this image ›

 and pants are always way too short.

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15. People ALWAYS insist you’ve grown since you last saw them and people ask how tall you are.

 

View this29. People use you for shade or to block wind.

 

30. Your legs are always in the way on trains, buses, and airplanes.

 

32. The points of open umbrellas are always right at eye level. image ›

16. One size fits all never fits, so you have to sew instead of ready-made.

 

17. People think it’s socially acceptable to jump on your back without asking.

 

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18. Everyone expects you to be good at sports at least basketball (but you’re not).

 

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19. Long legs means naturally outpacing anyone you walk with.

20. Please help me add number 20

TWENTY REASONS I AM TIRED OF BEING TALL part 1

1. Low ceilings and ceiling fans can be dangerous.

 

2. Hugging that petite fine babe can be awkward.

 

3. You always have to stand in the back of group pictures even when you want to show off your new shoes or suit.

 

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4. You are the brunt of joke imagine a young child asking you “What’s the weather like up there?”

 

5. Imagine having to crouch inside a car……

 

6. Everyone hates you at shows, church etc and don’t want to sit behind you.

 

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7. You are the No 1 errand boy “I need someone tall to grab something!”

 

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8. Most beds are way too small even when you try to slant or curve.

 

9. You haven’t been able to relax in a bathtub since you were 10 and you have to crouch to use shower.

 

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10. Everyone uses you as a beacon in crowds. Imagine overhearing ‘I will be standing beside “Paul” at the party.

Watch out for part two

WHY I AM NOT GOING TO BANKS AGAIN (Another reason for online banking)……..

Don’t go to the bank unless it’s compulsory.

We were worried about gunshots from robbers now breaking news of 26 injured by a man setting himself on fire in a bank for unknown motive brings a new dimension to banking security

I have decided that since we are not too many in my family and my mum is too old to born a replacement that I will play safe sand use internet and phone for most if not all my banking transactions.

WHEN TALL IS DANGEROUS………

I thought being tall was an advantage as ladies love us TALL DARK and HANDSOME (TDH).

 I later discover that I might be too tall for some ladies but never start thinking about the danger until I saw this story on BBC about Mr Baraka who is too tall to be treated by doctors.

I also discover that tall people face higher risk of stray bullet and accident due to ceiling fan….do you know any other.

Five Reasons Why Men Seek Divorce

Unlike Nigeria where you be laugh out of court for such, most cases of divorce in India are filed on the grounds of abuse, or what's legally termed as "cruelty". But what amounts to abuse has long been open to debate, especially when determining whether psychological trauma has been afflicted on a person during marriage.

Party pooper

A sailor who claimed his wife's regular partying, among other things, was a form of abuse. The 42-year-old man, who married his wife in 1999, was also in the "habit of enjoying parties",

Sex machine

A sexless marriage is a common trigger for divorce globally. But last year, a man wanted to divorce his wife because of too much sex.

In his petition, the man described his wife as having an "excessive and insatiable appetite for sex" ever since their marriage in April 2012. He alleged that she would force him to have sex, even at times when he was sick, and threatened to sleep with other men when he refused.

Fashion police

In another case, a man sought a divorce from his wife on the grounds of cruelty in part because of her dress sense.

The man, in his 30s and married since 2009, was reportedly anguished by his wife's decision to often wear shirts and trousers to her workplace instead of traditional clothing.

Acne 'trauma'

Arranged marriages can sometimes lead to partners we are not expectin, like dwarf,  but the reason one man gave for wanting to end his union was far from usual - he complained of being traumatised by his wife's acne problem.

In his divorce petition, he argued that the pimples and boils on his wife's face prevented him from consummating their marriage during their honeymoon in 1998.

'Hostile hospitality'

The refusal by a woman to make tea for her husband's friends had left him humiliated and along with other factors, including her decision to terminate a pregnancy without his knowledge, amounted to mental abuse and acceptable grounds for divorce

(Adapted from BBC)

Who will be sworn in as Nigeria Next President?

Nigerians voted on Saturday and all the world wait with bated breadth who Professor Jega and his INEC will declare the winner. I won't be surprise to discover if the Professor refuse to pick Obama or Cameron call today.

 

No matter who is announce, what is important is who will be sworn in on May 29.

 

Here are some of the options.......

1. Goodluck Jonathan.
2. Mohammad Buhari
3. Yemi Osibanjo (In case the court disqualify Buhari)
4. None of the above.......

Who do you think he will be.....

Presidential Debate Round 2: Barack Obama vs Mitt Romney

"US President Barack Obama's team says he will make a "strong" comeback in Tuesday's debate rematch with Republican Mitt Romney".

Part 1 should be good old debate convincing the audience why we should vote for either of them even if they don't have solution to America problem.

Part 2, lets give both of them a basketball, drop them on the court and lets see who can dunk better.

Part 3, Lets put both of them in a ring and see who is the best boxer.


Sorry its not CNN, i was just dreaming. Let me stand up and go get ready for the debate......

Who do you think will win this time?

Hulk Hogan sextape

Hulk Hogan has spoken.

He is of the opinion that no true friend will make public the sex video of his friend, whether for money or for anything else.

He believe that showing the video will mean they were never friends.

We just need to know that do friend sleep with each other woman?

We are are still waiting for Hulk to explain the new trend of sharing babe but not sharing video.

Five most popular footballers in the world

According to British Newspaper, Independent the most popular footballer and sportsman on Facebook is Cristiano Ronaldo. He can revel in becoming the first sportsman to receive over 50 million 'Likes' on Facebook. Every one in twenty people on Facebook like the Real Madrid Forward.

His lead of more than 10 million over Lionel Messi might not mean he is the better player but that he is more newsworthy.

The five most popular footballers according to the paper are......
1.Cristiano Ronaldo
2.Lionel Messi
3.David Beckham (21 million)
4.Kaka(18 million)
5.Andres Iniesta(10 million)

Did we all noticed that all the 5 are either playing or have played in Spain for Barcelona or Real Madrid meaning that Spanish league is probably the most popular in the world.......

Bisi Ibidapo-Obe's pregnancy: What El Rufai Is not telling us

El Rufai says that his friend Dino is not the owner of the pregnancy. How is he very sure or ever 'surer' than the mother, Maybe knows something Nigerians do not know.

A possibility is that he knows the father of the baby, another possibility is that HE is the father of the baby so he does not want another to take his child.

Stephen Keshi needs our prayer.

Five million is a lot of money so i  will be praying for Stephen. Not even only the money but also the bonus and the prestige. I like wishing other people good.

The money is so much that NFF is always owing the man, i am hoping he will employ me as debt collector to be collecting the money for him and collecting 10% fee.

If Liberia beat Nigeria over the weekend the only reason that NFF wont sack him if he does not resign is football fan have decided to Aluu him.

Maybe the real reason i will be praying is that i want Nigeria to qualify whether Keshi or no Keshi, but do you believe Keshi have done enough to continue as coach and will qualify us for the world cup 2014 if we allow him to stay after the weekend?

urgent solution to arsenal's problem

1. get an arab owner.

2. sack the coach or promote him.

3. buy mature players.

all of the above or jonathan style; disband the team for 2 years

Inspector General of Police: Comedian of the month

We are awarding Oga Ringim not because of his shakara over boko haram that almost got him killed or that still now he is not sure whether its sucide bombing.


He deserve the award for going to America. He left his own house burning, we are told to deliver lecture.

We can just imagine the titles and content of those lectures, "do not mess with the terrorist","he who fights and run away" .........

The president did not do enough by calling him back, if he is my junior brother i know what i will do to him.

The rantings of Farida Waziri

Pls can somebody ask me to leave Anty Farida and EFCC alone, since they did not kidnap my dad like Soludo Papa, i am not owing any bank, we are not fighting over a babe etc.....

Maybe i don't like hypocrite but she is not the only one in obodo Nigeria.

She is however the No 1 comedian in the country as at today .....so welcome to the latest episode of Farida Waziri show......AIT and NTA take note before i sell the idea to FOX, ABC etc

1. America encourages Nigeria’s looting - Waziri; That is big sister answer to Hillary Clinton allegation that EFCC is no longer working. I agree with her that we loot because Obama allows us to but house in America and other country do not steal because they are banned from buying stuff in Yankee.....She is just too brilliant.....

2. Waziri: I was threatened over Bode George’s trial; If the head of EFCC was threatened and blackmail, what are we doing about it.....Its either the people behind the threats are bigger than her, her cupboard is full of skeleton or she is just not telling us the truth. I was wondering why the case was like that.......i now understand that its blackmail......

3. We will appeal Vaswani verdict; EFCC is saying they will appeal since they were not join in the suit...........Were they not in the country when the case was going on.......were they sleeping or because they were collecting debt they forgot.....I have a feeling they know they don't have a case....Its the game EFCC plays

The NEW EFCC GAME: Analysing Bode Geoge Conviction

GOOD News.....

Breaking News.....

EFCC is finally working.........All hail Farida Waziri

Not only recovering debt but finally convicting Bode George.

The true gist is that Uncle Bode was not found guilty of fraud or stealing but more of adminstrative isuues....splitting contract, not obeying authorities...etc....which is why no body is talking of returning money.

They also prosecute and jail half the NPA board why?

Its just a GAME.....

EFCC case is so mess up that the man will win on appeal...a variation of the old game that they pick Iyabo Obasanjo and co, after a lot of noise grant them bail after a few days and return passports for medical reasons....life continue.

In the next few week be rest assure that MR Bode George will be granted bail, then he will probably win at the appeal court.....if they want to drag the film like the normal nollywood film with part 2 and part 3 they will go to supreme court.....

You will see more variation of this new game with Elumelu and co and a number of other cases until we are bored......

Pls can't somebody in Nollywood just shot the film.

How to be popular by Adokiye Amiesimaka

I don't like NFF and the excuses and statements defending the overage captain of the Nigeia under 17 Golden Eaglet, it just affirm they are more stupid, inept and corrupt than we can imagine.


I have always maintained that all those MRI scan was childplay to keep us amuse.....FIFA under 17 my foot

I know a long time ago that if some of those 'boys' especially those playing in the Nigeria professional league are under 17, then i need to call my mum for my real age......

I know Adokiye is a good player, a trained lawyer and supposedly a 'patriotic' Nigeria...

Please was he in the country when the list of player was relase, when those men were going for training camp....haba since he was not suffering from amnesia he could have save us a little more embarassement by coming out earlier.

Sorry, if he did that he will not be as popular.....

So oga is not being patriotic, he just want to be front page news and stupid NFF played along.....

Enjoy ur moment in the Sun Uncle Adokiye

China battle the West over Nigeria Oil

"Royal Dutch Shell Plc (RDSa.L) will fight any possible efforts by the Nigerian government to hand control of its Nigerian fields to Chinese oil companies, the Anglo-Dutch oil major’s chief financial officer said on Thursday.
“One thing you probably will have seen, and can be sure of, is that both ourselves and the industry will defend our interests,”Simon Henry told analysts on a conference call when asked about recent Chinese approaches to Abuja.
China has indicated its desire to move in on oil blocks currently licensed to Western oil firms, including Shell, Chevron (CVX.N) and ExxonMobil"

This is good oooo......We hope Government will get the best for the oridinary Nigrian and not for a group of politician......

Who is selling the ticket for the battle/match?

A crime to urinate?

"Bristol City's goalkeeper Dean Gerken was arrested in the early hours of Sunday, the club has confirmed.
Avon and Somerset Police said a 24-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure after he was allegedly spotted urinating."

I think they just need to cane the guy, why will you arrest him.

if we start that in Nigeria, na overcrowding for prison

Soludo's Papa....who stole am

Lets play detective,
1. Chris Uba, He is the main suspect
2. Andy Uba, He doesn't like both soludo and his brother.
3. Chris Ngige, maybe want to pay PDP back.
4. Peter Obi, Governor and nice person but politician can do anything.
5. Soludo himself, Maybe no kidnap na setup.
6. Another aspirant, Who plan to gain from all the fight.
7. real kidnapper.
8. none of the above.
Who is the guilty party, like they say on TV vote and win, lol

Is Asuu Mad?

Too much books can made one mad is a general belief and with the dressing and hairstyle of some old lecturers could also be true. An emperor in the bible also accused Paul of being mad from too much reading.Former president Obasanjo was in ABU last week and said the solution to the FG/ASUU stalemate is for government to understand ASUU's idiosyncrasy. My interpretation of that big grammar is ASUU's madness.Really what is the solution, Who is mad, ASUU, FG or both?